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Yep, uncomfortable title. But sadly, these are subjects that I feel we have a responsibility to talk about. Although often done unknowingly- hence the article title- these habits have the potential to do harm.
This is a tricky subject, I know, but these are five mistakes that need discussing. Rather importantly, this is not specifically a guide for parents. The assumption is made, often without the speaker realising, that since the autistic person is looking away in silence, they must not be listening. Which, of course, is quite a harsh assumption to make about people who simply communicate differently. When I worked in special education, on principle I always talked to the nonverbal students.
The point was to give them the experience of social communication. After all, his needs took priority over mine. As I talked, he said nothing, did not look at me, and gave me no indication that he was listening. Nonetheless, at one point I simply said,.
Because guess what? He was listening! Even in professional circles. Yes, our autism influences us. Yes, it often gives us particular habits or interests unique to us.
One crucial match was scheduled for a day when the school was doing a special event. Throughout the day there was only one opportunity for this game to be played… and ten minutes before the start, one of the students got a migraine and had to go home. And speaking as a former primary school teacher, you should only be in the classroom if you can adapt reasonably well to unexpected change. That said, there is a balance. Like I said, autism does have an impact on us. But the main reason it happened was because Independence Day was an awesome movie!
At least, to me at twelve it was. Moral of the story? This is Morgan. He no longer attends school because the word alone makes him afraid. And, in a story all too familiar to parents of autistic children, the source of this anxiety was a devastating amount of bullying throughout life at one of his previous schools. Unfortunately, this bullying was allegedly not addressed effectively.
This is no indication of my personal beliefs, but simply mindful of the fact that- having a website as well-read as Autistic Not Weird- I have a duty to write responsibly. According to those closest to him, the bullying continued because each incident was seen as Morgan having a skewed perspective. When a crime happens, you want a witness with an Aspie memory close by! Oh, and if bullying or abuse is reported by a distressed child- autistic or not- it must be taken seriously.
Britain is still dealing with the fallout of a whole generation of abused children who grew up being ignored: literally thousands of victims who had to wait until the twenty-first century to be believed. Morgan is safe now, by the way, and he has been for a while. Speaking as an autistic man, my opinions differ somewhat. But I understand their panic completely. Now, non-autistic people seeing only the negatives is counterproductive enough.
But imagine the damage that gets done when autistic people themselves are led to believe that their autism makes them deficient. Heck, combine this point with 1 and talk about how terrible autism is right in front of them, and watch what happens to their self-esteem! Looking at their page, it becomes obvious that Mum and Dad are doing a sterling job as parents.
But other people- the TV, and perhaps even society itself- have led Cadence to believe that a large part of her personality is A Bad Thing. Which is absolutely not fair. But me personally- despite my reputed positivity about pretty much everything- I shuddered. And finally… a point which may rub a couple of people the wrong way, but it has to be said. And yes, I am well aware that lots of people feel this way, parents in particular.
Hating the condition that holds them back is quite a natural response. The child will take one very significant message from that, and one which will definitely stick with them:. Everyone struggles with their personal demons. And some people only cope with their demons based on how well other people let them cope.
When an autistic child knows an adult hates their autism, that adult brings those demons to life. They are giving their demons a name, and they are giving those demons authority. More than anything, you are saying that the child is right to be fearful and hateful towards a large part of themselves. Again, I get it. But I refuse to hate part of a child. Hope this helps some readers. Like I said, some of these mistakes are surprisingly easy to make- but then again, plenty of them are easy to avoid.
Again, feel free to take a look at Autistic Not Weird on Facebook. Writing for Autistic Not Weird has now become my job, thanks to those who support me via Patreon. To those interested:. Here is my Patreon page ; and. Here is the extension to this article. Footnote- people have offered other suggestions too, which are also good enough to share.
Additional ways to damage autistic children without even knowing:. Stephanie Keyes. Adapted from a suggestion by Eric Van Gucht. Adapted from a suggestion by Kristin Pedigo. Adapted from Audre C- more details in her comment below. Pieter Dykhuis, age Are you tired of characters with special needs being tokenised and based on stereotypes, or being the victims rather than the heroes?
This novel series may interest you! Underdogs , a near-future dystopia series where the heroes are teenagers with special needs, is a character-driven war story which pitches twelve people against an army of millions, balancing intense action with a deeply developed neurodiverse cast.
And trust me, only the important ones. Chris Bonnello is a national and international autism speaker, available to lead talks and training sessions from the perspective of an autistic former teacher. For further information please click here opens in new window.
School is my biggest problem and my sons. It has literally caused my son to internalise and dis like himself. The root of anxiety is not inherently ASD but damage caused by teachers, peers, and by school environment itself. School sucks. Glasgow Scotland. If I had the money I would have sent him privately or home schooled! School does indeed suck big time!!
I think the ideal environment for those with autism is a school where they can be amongst their own kind. We should all be integrated. The only thing the normal society seems to want is for everyone to fit in i. Until someone gets hurt. The only ones who understand autism are those who know about it first-hand.
Why bother trying to explain it to someone too ignorant to be open-minded? Or too ignorant to realise the damage they have done? Look what happened when they did hold them in Berlin and Munich. Bad things happen in threes-or can.
Well, before you send someone a letter with your brilliant idea, there are some forums, probably a reddit thread where you could talk to some people with high-functioning autism and learn their takes. Thank you for not being a hater.
I am best friends with many of the autistic kids at my school and I know how hard life can be. I love it that some people can learn to accept the differences of others autistic or not. From the other perspective i have to commend you on your self awareness.
My family? My 6 yr old autistic grand daughter likes me to carry her into school, i always say do you want walk in and mostly she replies no ,once near the class room she is happy to walk …The school have now asked my son to tell me to stop.
More stress??
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Lists portal. ISBN Retrieved September 28, Nick Holonyak, Jr". Retrieved February 8, Iowa City Press-Citizen. Iowa City, IA. January 14, Retrieved May 29, — via Newspapers. University of California Press. Retrieved May 13, QSR Magazine. April 10, Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers. Archived from the original on October 16, Retrieved December 22, Retrieved October 2, Conrad Jr.
Bill Thayer's Microsoft visual studio 2015 community free ничем Site. Chicago, IL: Bill Thayer. Retrieved February 5, Believer Magazine. Retrieved August 12, Archived from the original on September 6, Retrieved Biographical Directory of the United States Congress. Retrieved October 15, Retrieved October 14, National Governors Association. Who is she? Retrieved October 16, Retrieved September 29, Retrieved February 4, Retrieved July 15, Archived from the original on August 17, Federal Judicial Center.
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May 9, Retrieved November 16, Saturday, December 13, Religion p. NewsBank Record Number: Available from the Houston Public Library website with a library card. The Assyrian Journal. Retrieved August 19, She went on to study political science at the University of Illinois in Champaign, Illinois, where she was one of the founding members of the Assyrian Chaldean Syriac student movement.
Borderless Magazine. Atour Sargon, the first Assyrian elected to the Lincolnwood board of trustees, has been a strong advocate of the campaign. Retrieved May 7, Department of Commerce, Patent and Trademark Office.
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